Article Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

Why You’re Hardwired To Kind Of Hate Whoever Your Daughter Brings Home


May. 17, 2017 Fatherly

Your daughter might not be old enough to start dating yet, but it’s safe to assume you have different “types” (mom excepted, of course). So, part of you probably already hates whoever she’ll eventually bring home at least a little bit. Experts call this the “Juliet effect,” but it’s more often referred to by dads as, “Touch that and die.” Either way, recent research explains that there’s an evolutionary explanation to all this, which is a bit more sophisticated than just being uncomfortable with someone desiring your little girl.

Researchers in Norway had 279 women rank 133 traits in an ideal male partner, and then had their sisters do the same on their behalf. The women prized prioritized obvious characteristics like loyalty, faithfulness and (earmuffs, dad) being good in bed. But, their sisters were more concerned with how responsible, empathetic, helpful and kind suitors were. It turns out, the sisters were probably echoing the sentiments of their parents: In 2013, another study found parents prioritize partners that place the least strain on family resources. So, when you decide you absolutely have to convince Susie that Jonny is no good, Sally will have your back.

Evolutionary biologist and author of the latter study Tim Fawcett suspects this happens because parents have a biological self interest in passing on their genes, and if your kid is bringing home a DJ, good luck with that. He explains that the conflict comes up, “because daughters will settle for a partner who provides less support than her parents would ideally like,” which places a burden on your family, especially if that DJ leaves you to raise his offspring. Because, while you want your genes passed on, you sure as hell don’t want to have to feed and cloth them, too.

Read More on Fatherly

Gene Upshaw Player Assistance Trust Fund

Apply Today

All Resources

Tell Me More

The Science of Teamwork

The right mindset is important for team-based success.

Read More

To all our Former Player Fathers:

Your playing days may be behind you, but the best days with your family are ahead!

Read More

Why She Communicates the Way She Does

And It May Not Be What You Think.

Read More

The Next Generation of You: Aaron Maybin

After pursing an Art Major at Penn State, Aaron Maybin is putting his skills to good use in the community.

Read More

Hiding My Depression Almost Destroyed My Job

Help end the stigma: Let’s talk about mental health.

Read More

How to Stay Fit After 40

Listening to your body is very important.

Read More

5 Steps to Successful Budgeting

When was the last time you adjusted your budget?

Read More

How Kevin Hart Went From Being a Comedian to the Guy Who Owns Comedy

It’s what you don’t see that drives Hart’s success.

Read More