In marriage, it’s not easy to know what a partner wants us to do. Though we may try to do the things that make them happy often and avoid the things that don’t, it can be difficult to figure out exactly what they really want from us. Maybe it’s that we try to solve problems for them too frequently or maybe it’s that we don’t show our affection often enough. Such things are hard to pick up on and also hard to express. That’s why we spoke to a dozen wives about the things they need but don’t get from their husbands. The answers were very illuminating. Take a look and start a dialogue with your spouse about the unspoken things that might help your marriage. Or not. We’re not the boss of you.
I Wish My Husband Recognized When I Needed Time to Myself
“And I don’t mean, like, time in a room that he and the kids aren’t in. I need to know that he’s got everything under control, and that I can truly relax, breathe, and take a break. Just for a little while. He’s a great father — he really is — but sometimes I feel like the lead in the relationship. And it gets overwhelming.I’m not talking about a weeklong vacation by myself. Just an afternoon or evening when I could hand the reins over to him and completely forget my kids exist. (Laughs). I know that sounds bad, but you know what I mean.” – Hallie, 35, Kansas
I Wish My Husband Would Let Me Solve More Problems
“Sometimes I need him to let me solve problems. My husband is so smart. So annoyingly smart. He’s not obnoxious or arrogant about it at all, but he always seems to come up with a ‘better way’ to do something. Even if my way isn’t the best one, let me try it. Let me fail. Let me learn. And let me try it again.” – Jessie, 39, Iowa
I Wish My Husband Wouldn’t Make Everything a Joke
“My husband is a joker. I wish he knew I needed him to be more sensitive sometimes. We rag on each other pretty frequently. We did it from the moment we started dating, just busting each other’s balls all the time. Now that we have kids, and our friends have kids, the way I feel about myself — my body, my emotions, and all that — has changed. It’s probably hard for him to understand, but I definitely need a break — at least until I’m back to feeling like my old self. If that ever happens…” – Monica, 40, Kentucky
I Wish My Husband Would Understand That Saying ‘Sorry’ Doesn’t Cut It
“I wish my husband knew I needed more than an ‘I’m sorry’ for the same thing over and over. I need to see the change. I need to believe there’s effort being made. Little things can become really, really annoying when he does them, then expects to erase them with ‘I’m sorry’. That’s just really immature. I’m all for second chances. Even third chances. But, c’mon, man. ‘I’m sorry’ just doesn’t cut it when the problem never changes.” – Kimberly, 37, New Jersey
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