“It’s not you, it’s me.” ~ Said by millions of people trying to get out of a relationship without being honest.
An awful lot of what you think and feel about your wife actually has very little to do with her or her actions. Even when what she says and does is part of it, how you perceive it is coloured by your life experiences and what you believe about yourself, your wife, marriage in general, and much more.
We all have this inner idea of what we want and need.
- If I only had _____ life would be good.
- If my wife would just _____ and _____ our marriage would be awesome.
- The biggest problem we have is that she _____.”
The problem with these things is they are based on our skewed version of reality. Even if they happened, which may be impossible, odds are the results would not be as great as we think.
If you want a better life and marriage, you MUST see yourself clearly. You must admit your own limitations, fears, and prejudices. You have to see the difference between what you want and what you need. Find what you really need as opposed to the lie-filled story you’ve told yourself. Change your story and your life changes.
I’m not saying your wife is irrelevant; a good wife is a fantastic blessing, and a selfish wife can be a curse. What I want you to see is you have far more power to change your marriage than you think because much of what you don’t like has some of its roots in how you tell your life story.