It does not mean she is getting away with something and it does not mean you can’t deal with the thing you have forgiven her for. It does not mean what she did is okay, nor does it mean you are no longer hurt by her actions. It doesn’t you’re a doormat and it certainly doesn’t mean you get a pass on the next thing you do wrong.
One dictionary I looked at said forgiving means to “stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake”. The Greek word we translate as forgive is aphiemi and it means “to leave or let go”. We separate ourselves from the wrong, choosing to move on.
When we choose to not forgive, we are putting our feelings ahead of God’s Word and the good of our marriage. We hurt our wife, but we also hurt ourselves. If it goes on we can become bitter and selfish, and we will convince ourselves those things are our wife’s fault when in fact they are the natural consequences of not forgiving. And yes, we should forgive even the most radical betrayal. Forgiving is about trusting that God is right; it has nothing to do with sin committed against us or the attitude of the person who did it.