Article Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

3 Ways To Get Out Of Your Relationship Rut


Oct. 8, 2014 Huffington Post

1. Ask yourself, “What’s it like to be with me right now?” The heart of intimacy is the management of difference — it isn’t about whether you have conflict, but how you handle it. When you feel provoked, it’s easy to outline all the ways your partner is letting you down. But you have to be able to examine your role in the situation.

2. Really look at each other. It’s hard to be angry with somebody when staring into their eyes, and as mammals, we’re hardwired so that attention from another person can soothe us. Also, touch each other. Couples experiencing a “dry spell” often say they’ve stopped having sex because they’re angry. But the opposite can also be true: They’re angry because they’ve stopped having sex.

3. Take care of yourself to keep your relationship healthy. I believe humans’ default mode is love — a need for attachment is one of our basic survival instincts. But to experience love, we need to be aligned with our best selves. As infants, we occupy an instinctual space of connection, but as we age, we develop anxieties, fears, and feelings of shame that cloud our ability to connect. So if you can’t remember why you love your partner moment to moment, you may need to focus on you. Keeping your heart open begins with self-acceptance.

Read More on Huffington Post

Gene Upshaw Player Assistance Trust Fund

Apply Today

All Resources

Tell Me More

Is the Division of Labor Fair in Your Marriage? Here’s How to Figure It Out

Setting expectations about who does what — and adjusting them again and again — is crucial.

Read More

Big-Time College Athletes Don’t Get Paid

Here’s How This Amplifies Racial Inequities

Read More

10 (Healthier) Steps to Talk About Race and Racism

Talking about race and racism can be extremely difficult and emotional.

Read More

The 6 Cardinal Rules of Internet Safety All Parents Should Follow

How do you get kids to Be Internet Awesome? By getting parents to take the lead.

Read More

A CEO’s Guide to Planning a Return to the Office

Today’s decisions will set the tone for the future.

Read More

Plant-based diets reduce risk of heart disease, dementia, study finds

What does it mean to go plant based?

Read More

How to Deal with a Shockingly Big Utility Bill

Extreme weather can lead to changes in your utility bills. Be patient and take action.

Read More

Long-term, heavy coffee consumption and CVD risk

Too much coffee could take a toll on your heart health.

Read More